Carnival of Aros - Roundup Post

[grzanka]

Hi!! Today marks the end of the March edition of the Carnival of Aros and we’re here to present you with the submissions people posted. This month we wanted to focus on celebrating being aro - why do you love being aromantic, how has the community helped you, or if there are ways to improve aro experiences if you happen not to be embracing the identity with joy. We got 10 whole submissions and we’d like to thank you all for contributing and keeping the Carnival going!! We also respect the choices of people who chose not to participate. We have been notified about 2 possible late submissions, so we’d recommend checking this post out by the end of the week too.

Ever since the start of the Carnival in February, we as a community have been having more conversations with people who, at least to me, are new faces and those conversations were enabled by this event. Let’s keep this energy for building too!! We as hosts encourage you to read this month’s submissions, learn the perspectives of people who talk about their experiences with aromanticism and share your thoughts with them.

We also hope to see you there for the next month of the Carnival - it’ll be hosted on the blog Aromantic Ruminations.



Aromanticism: My Sword and Shield by mesotablar

This post talks about the author’s life before the discovery of aromanticism, the feeling of being different and how it changed after the enlightening discovery has been made. She talks about being able to defend her experiences with the new knowledge and the sense of community:

I do believe the pen is mightier than the sword, and discovering aromanticism gave me the vocabulary I needed to finally explain or defend myself. The concepts I had not been able to define, the ideas I had not been able to articulate burst onto my screen with glorious new words(...). Best of all I found the community. I was no longer alone.

Knowing That I’m Aro Helps Me Get On with My Life by Sara K.

In this post the author talks about their delay in thinking about their romantic orientation and how they excused their lack of interest in romance. They didn’t immediately connect their experiences to aromanticism, but knew about the identity existing. Right now, they are glad to be focusing on what they want to be doing in their life.

And it’s great to know that I’m aromantic because that means I’m not wasting my time and energy on figuring out why I don’t feel romantic feelings towards other people and why I’m not trying to pursue romance in my life, and instead I am MOVING ON to things I actually want to do, like blogging.

A Carnival of Aros - It’s Great to Be Aro by Neir

In this post the author talks about discovering aromantic communities and eir positive experiences with them. Ey also thinks we’re changing in the direction of being more accepting and inclusive, even though the road is not always smooth.

The community can have its rocky patches, and I know that at the moment it certainly does (though I should mention I’m not entirely aware of the nuances of the goings-on). However, I believe it’s always been and will always grow to be an accepting space. I have never felt so included, respected, and loved unconditionally as I have in this community, and I love being aro for this reason.

Carnival of Aros March 2019: It’s Great to be Aro! by Lib

This author talks about their need to be connected to themself, how that feels good. Romance can be a good option for others, but no matter the way people try to sell it to the author, they don’t see the appeal and they stress wanting more conversations about other kind of bonds with people.

I really do love being aro because I wouldn’t be myself if I wasn’t. I’ve worked really hard to become comfortable with who I am and what it means to be “me”.

Does This Orientation Spark Joy? by Ruvic

This author talks about his journey through life, figuring out priorities and uncovering his identity, both literally and metaphorically. The intersection of his experiences as a both trans and aro person is explored too - the expectations from family and the road to acceptance and being true to himself.

I found my aromantic shirt, which reads 'World's Okayest Aromantic' in large letters, and held it to my chest. I wasn't going to let it go; but I closed my eyes and thought about the past for a minute, the uncertainty I'd had before I'd accepted who I was. I thought about the dream for the future I'd been given, the white dress and the altar and finally figuring out what this love was that everyone talked about. I thanked the dream for nothing, and I let it go.

It’s Great To Be Aro by Ace of Arrows

This post fills out a few prompts from this month’s call for submissions. The author mentions the lifting of guilt and shame in sexual interactions and friendships, and being able to think about their needs in relationships as a result of figuring out aromantic identity. They also talk about improvements to be made, such as inclusion in queer groups, better civil unions.

I love that I can have friendships that are deeply loving and caring. I love that I discovered so much amazing writing through my own questioning. I love that embracing aro as an identity has brought me closer to a lot of people.

The Freedom of Being Aro by aromanticrey

The author talks about how freeing of societal expectations the discovery of being aromantic has been, allowing them to just live their life true to themself and pursue happiness. It also had a side effect of making the author question more norms beyond amatonormativity, to see what is really important to them.

I was free of the burden that romance was not only ideal, but necessary. I finally understood my feelings, and lack thereof. I was no longer stuck looking for fulfillment in the wrong places. I didn’t have to look outside myself, to a romantic ideal, for happiness. I could simply look within.

Aro Awareness Activism and The Chance to be the Change You Want to See by Sennkestra

In this post the author talks about how to improve the aromantic experience in a practical way - how to create an initiative that has to do with visibility, spreading awareness and has the respectability that is important to the success of it. They explain what to consider when making a website that is intended to focus a lot of attention from aros, allies and curious onlookers.

“If you want it, you’re going to have to build it yourself” is often a mantra for emerging communities without much outside support. But the flip side of that is, “If you’re willing to build it, you can make of it anything you want”.

Being aromantic is cool, you guys are just mean by Jay

In this post the author talks about the relatively easy process of coming to the aromantic identity and how it helped them to make sense of their experiences in a positive way. They also mention that it allowed them to be less bound by norms.

Aromanticism has made me feel freer. I (usually) don't feel the need to dress up for anyone other than myself - I'm not trying to get dates, I'm trying to be me. Ditto for gender expression and identity - I can and will throw any and all romance-related “rules” of being a woman out the window.

Aromanticism, The Gift That Keeps On Giving by Tost

The author talks about how knowing about aromanticism gave them a better understanding of themself and their friends. They hope that aromantic activism can make people’s lives better - aros’ and allos’ alike, because it’d make more possibilities noticeable.

What we can do is uncover the range of possibilities that lay in front of everyone (...). Right now the pervasive perspective is that a person can only be happy when they’re in a romantic relationship and while that’s true for many, it’s not true for everyone - you’re happy if you’re not forcing yourself into anything and following your feelings, trying things out and allowing them to just not work for you.