Oooh yeah same boat... especially the bit where queerplatonic is as good a label for the relationship as Romantic is.
I agree that it's in aspec communities that you'd call a relationship Romantic the most (or to people who know you're aspec, which is pretty often for me), but I'd also say that the distinction between a Romantic and non-Romantic relationship is the most sharp in aspec communities. Which then means that the confusion is in exactly the area that you least want it to be—other aspecs. You can always clarify what you mean by "Romantic relationship", of course, but the norm of a Romantic relationship is always going to be assumed first (and assumed completely if no clarification follows). I think it's less the "needing to clarify" bit that's a problem and more the "assuming things" part. And yeah, I agree that the existing norm is an idea which trickles down to us from wider heteronormative/amatonormative/etc society.
If you ever finish that post, I'd really like to see it!
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 10 Mar 2019 04:09 (UTC)I agree that it's in aspec communities that you'd call a relationship Romantic the most (or to people who know you're aspec, which is pretty often for me), but I'd also say that the distinction between a Romantic and non-Romantic relationship is the most sharp in aspec communities. Which then means that the confusion is in exactly the area that you least want it to be—other aspecs. You can always clarify what you mean by "Romantic relationship", of course, but the norm of a Romantic relationship is always going to be assumed first (and assumed completely if no clarification follows). I think it's less the "needing to clarify" bit that's a problem and more the "assuming things" part. And yeah, I agree that the existing norm is an idea which trickles down to us from wider heteronormative/amatonormative/etc society.
If you ever finish that post, I'd really like to see it!