Yes, I agree with this. (And thank you for that last sentence in particular, that's important to me too.)
I think then the question would be how do we distinguish between Romantic[relationship type] and romantic[attraction/feelings/actions] so other people understand what we mean by the word? (And subsequently, avoid jumping down people's throats because we misunderstand which one they meant)
Because if we are considering queerplatonic and Romantic relationships mutually exclusive categories (which, should we?*), and Romantic relationships are only Romantic because the people in them say so, wouldn't that mean the decision to call a relationship a queerplatonic relationship instead of a Romantic relationship would by default make the relationship inherently not a Romantic[category] relationship? By that logic, if someone says "Queerplatonic relationships can be romantic" they most likely mean the attraction/feelings/actions meaning of romantic, or that they meant they were like romantic relationships but that didn't quite fit for the individual (it is a completely nonsensical statement otherwise, like, not even offensive. just... nonsense. It would be like saying "friendships can be romantic!" meant that you thought friendships that were romantic were Romantic relationships by default? Idk it just does not compute in my brain). In most cases, if a person understands that relationships in general can be Romantic even if they are nonsexual, then I think it is the people in the relationship's choice to say whether the relationship is Romantic or queerplatonic (or something else), even if "non-sexual romantic relationship" might describe the relationship. People know their own relationships best.
*I think we mostly do, but I don't think policing it that way is helpful.
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Date: 8 Mar 2019 00:33 (UTC)I think then the question would be how do we distinguish between Romantic[relationship type] and romantic[attraction/feelings/actions] so other people understand what we mean by the word? (And subsequently, avoid jumping down people's throats because we misunderstand which one they meant)
Because if we are considering queerplatonic and Romantic relationships mutually exclusive categories (which, should we?*), and Romantic relationships are only Romantic because the people in them say so, wouldn't that mean the decision to call a relationship a queerplatonic relationship instead of a Romantic relationship would by default make the relationship inherently not a Romantic[category] relationship? By that logic, if someone says "Queerplatonic relationships can be romantic" they most likely mean the attraction/feelings/actions meaning of romantic, or that they meant they were like romantic relationships but that didn't quite fit for the individual (it is a completely nonsensical statement otherwise, like, not even offensive. just... nonsense. It would be like saying "friendships can be romantic!" meant that you thought friendships that were romantic were Romantic relationships by default? Idk it just does not compute in my brain). In most cases, if a person understands that relationships in general can be Romantic even if they are nonsexual, then I think it is the people in the relationship's choice to say whether the relationship is Romantic or queerplatonic (or something else), even if "non-sexual romantic relationship" might describe the relationship. People know their own relationships best.
*I think we mostly do, but I don't think policing it that way is helpful.
Also if anyone is interested, this was the post that sparked this particular bit of controversy that I saw: https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/diskhorsedudes/179350504675 (my opinion on it is that it could be a little better worded, such as adding "like" before each instance of "romantic relationship", but I think the intent was in line with what we are saying here) And the commentary on it was here (in the notes): http://loud-and-queer.tumblr.com/post/179433384047/im-confused-how-does-it-make-sense-to-apply